Carpenter Ants and The School of Life: How I Found My Wings in Mid Air

• The story of Skylar Fry is one of raw reflection on life, art, and finding the foundation to fly.
• Find metaphors in the little moments, even when it is a tenacious ant falling from your ceiling.
• Life will land you in wild places; what matters is the strength and grit you develop along the way. 
• Young professionals should feel empowered by the uncertainty they face in this big wide world; life is valuable and opportunities are all around if you have the courage to look.

A Little Airborne Surprise

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something fall from the ceiling, landing on the floor with a quiet plop! I glanced down to see a big black carpenter ant navigating my carpet. I stifled my reaction – I was only 10 minutes into my first official meeting with Girl Power Talk and I didn’t want 150 of my new coworkers to see me lose my marbles on Zoom (just yet). From the corner of my eye, I trailed the ant until it disappeared under my bed, never to be seen again – or so I thought. About 60 seconds later, I saw my uninvited guest crawling up the opposite wall. 

I turned my attention back to the meeting, telling myself to let nature do its thing… until I felt another little plop! This time, the ant landed in my lap. I swallowed a shiver and gently brushed it off. When I saw it crawling back up the wall, my jaw fell open. This little booger just wouldn’t give up. Scaling walls and hurling itself off of ceilings, it refused to take the straight line from A to B, and I had to respect its daring disposition. 

My Own Sort of Skydive…

I suppose my own path hasn’t been so different from that of my new friend, choosing a new wall to climb, falling from the heights, picking myself up, and starting all over again. 

The funny thing is that I did everything right – I got perfect straight A’s, I was always grateful and polite, and I always ate my broccoli. I worked hard like they told me to in school, and I worked harder like they told me in ballet. I went to college and struck a golden balance between partying on Thursdays and upholding near perfect attendance with spotless grades. When I secured a position in a professional ballet company right out of college, I was over the moon, thinking, Everything up to now has all come to this – it’s going to be great. Oh how life would drop kick me a month later. 

Professional dancing is already hard enough – the days are long, the career is short; the chance of injury is high, the pay is low; the women work twice as many hours, the men make twice as much money (not that anyone makes much to begin with). This place, however, chipped away at my passion for the art and knocked the wind out of me. I had moved across the country for this glittering opportunity that lasted barely five months. Between the fear, rage, sadness, and disappointment that ate me up at night, I think I can surmise what it feels like to fall off a ceiling. 

When I finally worked up the courage to quit, I started questioning everything, including full-time jobs and the typical entry-level positions geared towards competent, desperate, young women. I was an easy bate for crazies and advantage-takers – always kind, non-confrontational, highly adaptable, over-eager, and afraid of failing. But when I found myself in a room where I couldn’t breathe, I took a leap into the turbulent waters of the unknown. 

What I did next, I can’t logically explain beyond saying that I moved back to the Northeast, freaked out and got 7 or 8 jobs… I quickly became a substitute teacher, bartender, personal assistant, model, travel writer, ESL curriculum designer, marketing expert, and farm market manager. Overwhelmed? Me too. 

What’s more, the 8 jobs were spread across three states. On Mondays, I substitute taught, worked with the farmer, and modeled for a boutique. On Tuesdays through Thursdays, I commuted to NYC and worked as a personal assistant for the real life Miranda Preesley, shedding my business wear for a ballet leotard and tights at night. On Fridays, I wrote for a travel company and worked the farm market. On Saturday and Sunday, I wrote curriculum and bartended, mixing old fashions and pouring wine. In the meantime, I would pick up odd jobs for friends or edit various creative projects. And it worked – I was learning, growing, having fun, being social and productive, making enough money to survive, and fulfilling a broad array of my interests. I even converted a storage closet into a bedroom and moved in. Sure, ants fell from the ceiling from time to time, but I was climbing walls and finding my wings to fly. 

I am text block. Click edit button to change this text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

Dodging Questions and Forging Onward

When people ask what I’m doing, or inquire about my toasted dance career, I calmly explain all of my various pursuits, often losing track of how many endeavors I am involved in at any given time. Sometimes I’m met with blank stares, others don’t believe me, and still, some just burst out laughing. At times, I feel just as confused as they look and other times, I remind myself that I’m collecting experiences from the School of Life. 

People like to remind me that I’m smart and capable enough to get a steady 9-to-5 “career” and enjoy benefits like free office coffee and healthcare. Thank you for the suggestion, but I am riding this rollercoaster with my eyes wide open – and though I can’t tell you what I am seeking, I know it’s something ambitious, fulfilling, and endlessly dynamic. I’m strapped in and holding on for dear life. 

My issue, which is actually my superpower, is coming to a fork in the road and choosing both – or should I say choosing all eight. I refuse to be just a dancer or just a writer or just an employee or just an artist – I crave the complexity of being all things and evolving forever. But the truth is, even when you become a pro at it, balancing 8 jobs, 5 hours of sleep, and 100 dreams always feels like you’re falling in midair.

A Monday Night Pick Up Shift

Just when I realized how special my flavor of ambition was, I received a call from a coworker in distress. She needed me to pick up her Monday evening restaurant serving shift in less than an hour. Something in me that day said, Just do it. And let me tell you – that pick up shift changed my whole damn life. 

I quickly changed into my restaurant blacks and pulled my hair back. That night, I met some certifiably cool guests, but towards the end of my shift, I served a chicken sandwich that changed my life. Sameer Somal and a friend sat down at “Out 2” and asked me my name and life story. I’m glad I didn’t give them a fake name… that would have been awkward on the job application later.

Throughout the night, we peppered each other with profound questions. I would deliver a drink and ask a question; they would order an appetizer and propose a new question for me. Trading life stories and big dreams, we became fast friends. I even had to kindly refuse sitting at the table with them and having a drink – for employee conduct reasons, not because I don’t enjoy a Monday Martini with super cool strangers. 

That conversation, unassuming and wonderfully genuine, changed my life. Sameer handed me his business card and at 2:30 am, I lay awake in bed, typing out a follow up email. 

I had never heard of Girl Power Talk, but as a writer, I was intrigued by the organization’s global network of powerful female voices, imagining that one day, mine could join the chorus. The more I got to know Girl Power Talk, the more it looked too good to be true. One place where I could explore endless possibilities, make friends all across the globe, and revel in an environment that wanted me to grow as a complete person? With every Girl Power Talk leader I questioned, I heard nothing but affirmation for the company’s culture, opportunities, and bright future. I was hooked. 

All of Me, Now and Looking Forward

This journey still feels new and exciting as I learn a broader way of thinking, being, working, and collaborating. It’s wonderfully fresh and invigorating to tackle little goals each day with a greater purpose of lifting the world up and doing it by bringing all of myself to the table. 

Bartenders are hired to make drinks, teachers are hired to instruct, writers are hired to communicate, personal assistants are hired to roll over and make phone calls – Girl Power Talk members are hired to be whole entire human beings, leading by example and fiercely chasing the change they want to see in the world. At Girl Power Talk, I can be a writer, dancer, artist, creative, administrator, marketer, salesperson, spokesperson, traveler, and… just Skylar. 

I could never have guessed how much I would relate to a determined little carpenter ant skydiving in my bedroom, but then again, I could have never guessed that I would end up living in a storage closet where carpenter ants frequently fell from the ceiling in the first place. And to my little buddy, I wished him the strength to climb that wall again and again, no matter how many times he plummets back down. As for me, I know I’ll keep climbing and climbing, because with a new home at Girl Power Talk, I know I’ll find my wings and fly.