From Victim to Survivor: Stories on Overcoming Sexual Abuse

• Sexual abuse remains a prevalent issue in today’s society.
• Your experience of being a victim doesn’t define who you are or are destined to be.
• Breaking the stigma surrounding women becomes everyone’s responsibility through community support and mentorship.

Sexual abuse against women is a major public health problem and a violation of women’s human rights. Globally, about 1 in 3 women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual abuse and violence in their lifetime. Most of these cases go unreported.

Some women may learn to deal with it and move on. However, these 5 women decided to transform their experience of abuse and trauma into resilience, purpose, and inspiring lifestyles.

“⁠Surviving Abuse Has Profoundly Shaped My Leadership”. – Tammy, 25, Entrepreneur.

⁠I was just 8 years old when the abuse began. It lasted for 2 years at a time when my father had just passed away. I was too young and confused to understand what was happening. For years, I carried that pain in silence. My turning point came when I started hearing other survivors share their stories. Their courage gave me hope that healing was possible. 

I confided in my mother, one of the few people who believed me when others didn’t. Books also became a source of strength, and one in particular, ‘Your Past Doesn’t Define You’ by Lacreisha Jackson, reminded me that I could choose who I wanted to become.

During my healing journey, my school proprietress became a key figure. Not only did she believe my story, but she also introduced sex education into the curriculum. Those classes were taught with compassion and honesty, and this helped me understand boundaries, consent, and my right to say no. For the first time, I felt seen, heard, and empowered. Her faith in me lit a spark that still guides me today.

Surviving abuse has immensely shaped the way I lead. I am human first, before any title. I lead with empathy, respect, and a commitment to ensuring others feel heard and supported. Having once been doubted by people I trusted, I now make it a point to validate and uplift the voices of those around me.

My story serves as a reminder that healing is possible. Our worth is not defined by what happened to us, but by who we choose to become.

“This Is Too Close to Home. Answering These Questions Just Made Me Realize I Never Truly Healed.”- Fiona, 25, Lawyer.

I have experienced several sexual abuse, but one left the deepest scar in particular because I had trusted the person completely. It shattered my sense of safety, made me afraid of men, and left me battling self-blame.

For months, I carried that weight in silence. It felt like there was something broken in me that made me ‘attractive’ to sexual abuse. I began to heal several months after, by acknowledging what happened. I’d look in the mirror every morning and tell myself that it would not define me.

Processing it was hard, as I often felt alone, but it made me more outspoken and expressive about sexual abuse, the violation of women’s rights, and women’s health in general. Turning my pain into advocacy gave me strength and purpose.

“At Some Point in My Life, I Had Resigned to Faith, and I Believed I Was the Problem”- Elizabeth, 26, Lead Product Designer.

The first of my many sexual abuse experiences happened when I was 10 years old. Then, when I was a teenager, I was sexually abused twice. Then, as an adult, I experienced it one more time.

Growing up as someone who had been constantly sexually assaulted, it took a toll on my personality. The first time it happened, I became withdrawn from school, my academics were impacted terribly, and I began to fail at schoolwork.

At some point, I had resigned to faith. I believed I was the problem. But everything changed when I attended a conference for awareness and sensitization on sexual abuse. They spoke on how it was important to speak up and why it shouldn’t define our future; that became a turning point for me. 

I began to understand that it wasn’t my fault, and decided I wouldn’t let these experiences define me, my choices, and my career path. I was too ashamed to speak up, so I had no support group or communities. I basically carried my burden alone and channeled my anger towards becoming a force to be reckoned with in my career so that no man dared to mess with me again.

Surviving these experiences taught me to be more aware of my surroundings, siblings, and friends. It taught me to encourage my loved ones to speak up whenever I sensed things weren’t right with them, and also allowed me to be emotionally intelligent in dealing with these issues when they arose.

“I Was Always Unhappy and Lived in Fear Whenever I Saw My Abuser Because It Felt Like They Had Power Over Me”- Ruth, 26, Banker.

I’m very passionate about impacting lives, particularly because I am a victim of sexual abuse. I know what it feels like to have your dignity and self-worth ripped away from you.

I was abused as a high schooler and when I was in college. I felt my self-respect stripped away from me, and I was so powerless. This reduced my confidence because, for a long time, I wore the emblem of a victim. I was weak and vulnerable, which made me hate men, and I thought less of myself. I was always unhappy and lived in fear whenever I saw my abuser because it felt like they had power over me. 

⁠The start of a turning point for me was when I saw my abusers grow and get better in life, while I just stayed there stagnant, being their victim. I chose to forgive my abusers so I could move on. I also decided to help other victims of sexual abuse understand they are not responsible for the actions of their abusers. 

My friends and family were a huge source of support for me. They listened to me without judgment, they prayed with me, and I felt seen. I listened to podcasts on self-development, meditated, and kept daily positive affirmations. 

My sexual abuse experiences affected my trust in people, as there’s a level of comfort I can’t attain with people anymore. It also affected my career choices because I worked on not being a victim so much that I stopped seeing myself as one, and focused instead on my career. 

If you find yourself in similar circumstances, talk to people you trust, don’t isolate yourself, and constantly be kind to yourself.

“I Felt Cheated and I Tried to Kill Myself”- Toluwani, 28, Data Scientist.

When it happened, I told my mum, and she blamed me for entertaining a male in my apartment, and this made it look like I had a hand in it. 

I have always been a quiet person. I felt cheated because I had always wanted to save myself till my wedding night. I attempted suicide, which didn’t work, because here I am today. However, this experience left me feeling ashamed and traumatized. It made it extremely difficult to be intimate with my partner at the time. I even thought maybe it wasn’t in the books for me, and I’d somehow die a spinster.

My partner played a huge role in my recovery journey, which I would attribute to his profession as a lawyer. He wanted me to pursue legal action, but I couldn’t bring myself to relive the experience again. I was also scared of being tagged as a victim of sexual abuse. I just needed someone to share the experience with without feeling judged or embarrassed, and my partner was that person for me. 

I didn’t let it define my career choices, as I have always been a girl who loves to make her money in any decent way possible, and that still stands. 

These women’s stories remind us that sexual abuse does not define survivors; their resilience does. One woman suffering from sexual abuse is one too many. The responsibility to protect women of all ages and backgrounds from becoming victims belongs to every member of society. With proper guidance, unwavering support, and the empowering knowledge that healing is possible, survivors can reclaim their power and transform from victims into advocates for change.