Navigating Conflicts in a Healthy Way

• Self-awareness is the cornerstone of healthy conflict resolution. 
• Prolonged conflict can lead to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
• Conflict not only affects your relationship, but also your productivity. 
• It’s important to find a middle ground and understand the other person’s needs as well.

We’ve all been in conflicts before- be it with others or ourselves. But where do we draw the line? How do we ensure that it doesn’t negatively affect us? Moreover, how do we navigate conflicts in relationships or even at the workplace? I’m sure these thoughts cross your mind, especially when you’re in a tiff. Let’s try and understand this on a deeper level. 

Root Causes of Conflict

Conflicts are rooted in differences. They could be values, beliefs, goals or even interests. They escalate when not addressed properly. Let’s breakdown why conflicts arise in the first place: 

Different perspectives: When it comes to differences- they’re inevitable. Everyone goes through and understands life differently. This could be due to different backgrounds, cultural beliefs and biases. All of these could lead to conflicts. 

Scarcity: We are all well aware that resources are limited, which gives rise to competition. The  “win-lose” mentality can exacerbate tensions. 

Miscommunication: The root cause of conflict can sometimes be assumptions, misinterpretations or inability to articulate wants and needs. 

Subjective beliefs and values: Everyone has a different value system, which they’re conditioned into. This means something as basic as what is right and wrong could also mean different things. This is particularly applicable in social, political or relevant settings. 

Power: We live in a society where power dynamics are very apparent and almost inevitable. This could lead to the powerful imposing their will and growing resentment among the oppressed.

The Detrimental Effect of Conflicts

Conflicts, when left unaddressed or poorly managed, can lead to great damage. It could affect people, relationships or even organisations. But what are these effects? 

Erosion of trust: When a conflict between individuals isn’t addressed properly- it can lead to feelings of hostility and resentment. It could further strain relationships and affect people around them. 

Elevated anxiety: If an individual is in a prolonged conflict, it could affect their mental health. It could lead to stress, depression and other health problems. The emotional toll of a conflict is something to be taken seriously. 

Poor performance and productivity: Work is significantly impacted by conflict. It could lead to a toxic environment, absenteeism, reduced productivity, etc. 

Escalation: Conflicts need to be resolved in order to avoid further escalations. The extent of such could include verbal abuse, aggression, or even physical violence. 

Hyper fixation on winning: Whenever an individual is in a conflict, their focus shifts to ‘winning.’ This prevents the individual from learning about diverse perspectives.

How Can You Cultivate Healthy Conflict Resolution?

As tough as it may seem at the moment, the approach to it is really simple. You need to make a conscious and deliberate effort to adopt constructive strategies. Some of the core principles of healthy conflict resolution involve: 

Self-awareness: You cannot approach a conflict without understanding your triggers, conflict style or even biases. These help you manage your emotions better so that you don’t make any impulsive decisions. Developing self-awareness through practices like Meditation and mindfulness can help you with this. 

Active listening: Sometimes, we’re so fixated on what the other person has done that we forget to reflect on our actions. Try to understand the other person’s perspective. More importantly, acknowledge their feelings. The more empathetic you become, the better your connections become. 

Articulate your thoughts: Practice assertive communication by expressing how you feel. Instead of blaming the other person, use “I” statements to articulate your needs better. 

Common ground: Identifying common grounds can provide a mutually acceptable solution. By shifting the focus from “you vs. me” to “us vs. the problem,” the problem becomes easier. 

Understand the interests: By focusing on interests, you are trying to comprehend the underlying needs and desires. 

Collaboration: Once the ground is laid by understanding interests, this stage helps. You not only come up with creative but also mutually beneficial solutions. 

An intervention: It is imperative to understand when an intervention is needed. It could be due to high-running emotions or an inability to find common ground. In such situations, it is suggested to reach out to mediators. They can help both the parties to reach a solution. 

Building a culture of mutual respect: In group or organisational settings, disagreement can, in fact, lead to learning opportunities. It is also important, so that individuals can feel safe to express their views without fear. 

Learning from the past: By reflecting on past conflicts, you get to know your conflict style and areas of improvement. You need to analyse and see what worked and what didn’t; it can help you make informed decisions. 

It is crucial to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to conflict resolution. One needs to be flexible and adaptive to the situation. It also cannot be stressed enough that people come with biases and differences. It is on how you approach the problem and make it work that conflicts can be resolved successfully.