Being The Superwoman: The Cost of Trying to Juggle it All

• The social expectation of the new age woman falls on shoulders to juggle household duties and her professional career. 
• Multitasking has been glorified among working women for a decade, which has left them exhausted and burnt out.
• Women are encouraged to follow their passions while being expected to handle traditional household chores alone. 
• A new outlook on women as individuals who deserve leisure is required to create a healthy work-life balance today.  

The Myth of the Superwoman Ideal

The “Superwoman” stigma is associated with women who do it all. An ideal or strong person who smoothly switches between the traditional duties of a homemaker and a working professional. For most women in the last decade, working experience was associated with personal aspiration. They came home from work and served dinner to all at the table as well. While many glorify this patience and tolerance in women, it has left women with the burden of meeting patriarchal expectations. 

Historically, women have served the duties of three C’s – cooking, cleaning, and caring. With time, the narratives have changed to women being an active part of the workforce and being recognized for it. But their work has never been given its true value- it is either their duty or their aspiration. The failure to consistently meet the ideal standards makes many feel like imposters. Women still struggle to find their identities as individuals today while being double burdened and appreciated for none.

The Societal Burden of Double Duty

Work-life balance for women might look like it is filled with self-care time and leisure. However, it comes with the responsibilities of the household, children, and other family members. While it is a part of adulting, the duties culturally fall heavily on women. A significant factor is the negligible emotional labor or unpaid work of women. These have been negligible in economic theories and social settings like families. 

The result is added responsibility irrespective of women’s contribution to household income. Professional expectations from a woman regarding performance remain the same as those of men. Women still try to compete with men in most sectors for equal pay and leadership positions today. In a household setting, they are still expected to play the dutiful role of a traditional caregiver. 

Women’s struggle to maintain familial roles and responsibilities and professional performance puts a double burden on them. Surprisingly, this practice is generalized to mask the never-ending duties that women take up to maintain harmony in their lives. It is a form of toxic positivity that loops up many. Is the persistent practice still fed to women as a badge of honor? Should not the validity of this normalization of being the ‘ideal woman’ not be questioned?  

Cost of Women’s Health

Studies suggest an increasing concern for health issues associated with care guilt. The guilt associated with not being a perfect ‘mother,’ ‘daughter,’ or ‘daughter-in-law’ in women affects them deeply. The shame associated with being judged for falling short and meeting expectations constantly hits self-image and self-esteem. It not only stunts their journey towards their emotional harmony but also affects them physically. Anxiety, stress, and exhaustion cause burn-outs that take the shape of disturbed sleep patterns, migraine, and increased risk of depression. The issue of double burden is borne silently by many women, even today, leading to a lot of negative self-talk. Long working hours, lack of safety nets lead to stress. Expectation to show up to both family and work add to the stress level of women. The cost of not taking leisure hours seriously can also impact women’s hormonal health and mood regulation.

The Glorified Picture vs Reality

The Superwoman myth is not just a social construct limited to families. It is also glorified through pop culture, media, and advertising. Most of the advertisements are purplewashed. Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada presents an inspiring picture of how women smoothly transition from their workplaces to homes. Claire Dunphy in the Modern Family show similarly handles it alone while calming herself down through stressful conditions. But is an ordinary woman’s life that easy? Well, it has not been for my mother in a nuclear family, who has been working in a tier-2 city for 12 years.

It is unsurprising to see an advertisement on Women’s Day on bone care and menopause without discussing strength for modern women. This has an underlying patriarchal tone of expecting women to handle all fronts easily without a complaint. It only adds to the narrative of being ‘strong, resilient, and patient.’ Tiredness, stress, and frustration – the expressions of a healthy individual, are often not brought into these discussions. 

A New Outlook on What Is “Work”

Reframing the term ‘superwoman’ into ‘woman’ is not enough. Systematic awareness regarding the individuality of women needs to be discussed. The women, not societal expectations, must set the definition of success. Expressing discomfort with the idea and bearing the brunt of self-sacrifice is still in practice today. However, movies like Juice and The Great Indian Kitchen shed light on the need for changing narratives.

Self-care, setting boundaries, delegating tasks, shared responsibilities, and equitable policies can aid the process. It is no good romanticizing the ideal woman who does it all with a smile. Men and women need to understand the need for flexible working hours and shared responsibilities. These provide for an equitable household and work-life balance, prevent burnout, and support well-being. Either gender can be incentive to support a healthy household without compromising on individual aspirations. 

Empowerment is not a positive enforcement of societal burden. It can never be. Women need to be given the power to choose their lives. A secured social safety net, including childcare, education, and work environment regulation, can help break the cycle of double burden. 

We need to understand that there is no superpower in promoting unrealistic ideals. Traditionally, women working informally both outside and at home have been equally neglected. It is high time we recognized this with respect and dignity rather than normalizing the age-old narrative. Let us direct our worlds towards a more equitable and sensitive society that values health over unreal expectations from women.