The Picture of Dorian Gray: Lesson on Do’s and Don’ts for Youth

Essence Over Aesthetics

Dorian Gray is a handsome man. Entire London sways when he walks into a room; his charm mesmerizing the crowd. Young and charismatic, he catches the attention of Basil Hallward, a well-liked painter. Smitten with his beauty, Basil decides to paint his portrait. 

The scene of the portrait’s completion is set in a beautiful garden filled with blooming laburnums. Basil falls in love with the picture. On the other hand, Dorian is heartbroken and furious. Flinging himself on the divan, he cries like a distressed damsel. 

Realization that his beauty is fleeting sets in on him. Like the flowers surrounding him, he realizes he too shall wither and lose his beauty one day. In his dramatic fit, he curses Basil for painting him and makes a bizarre wish. He wishes he remained young while his portrait takes the toll of aging. Surprisingly, the universe grants his desire. 

With his aging portrait in the attic, Dorian sets on the journey to chasing pleasure. He falls in and out of love with people, things, and places. He replaces friends like single-use pens and treats everyone as if they are beneath him. Clinging on to Lord Henry’s hedonist philosophy, he falls into hedonistic nihilism. He believes life has no meaning and decides that the only thing that matters is pleasure. 

Although Dorian remains young, his visage devoid of any spot or stain, his changing portrait carries souvenirs of his sins. It grows grotesque day by day, representing the corruption of his soul. 

Revelation 

Growing up, we receive formal education for building our careers. We’re prepared to be adults who face external struggles of finances and family. But, what about internal wars? War against all temptations of the world? Are we taught to make the right choice even when it is inconvenient for us? We are formally trained to be lawyers, doctors, and engineers. But do we receive training to become compassionate and kind humans?

People often pompously quote that it is the inner beauty that matters, but they don’t explain it further. Do they even know what, or where, inner beauty comes from? 

When our youth and beauty fade like wilting honey-dew laburnums, it is our values that remain loyal to us. The virtues that we practice at an early age become inseparable parts of our lives later. 

A person can be beautiful and kind. Or beautiful and generous. Or beautiful and disciplined. One day, when time steals away their beauty, it is the second adjective that will define them. Even without their youth, they’ll continue to be known for their kindness, generosity, or ethics.

Choose Your Heroes Wisely

“The only way to get rid of temptations is to yield to it.”

Dorian saw Lord Henry as his friend and mentor, solely because he supported all his pursuits. If Gray sinned, Henry cooked up a justification to save him from guilt. Dorian latched on to Henry when he was young and Henry fed him with lessons in hedonism. And, after one point in the story, Henry’s thoughts formed and solidified as Dorian’s personality. 

Lord Henry’s character viewed the world from a cynical lens. So, when Dorian walked in, he tried to vicariously live through him. He justified Dorian’s narcissism. He made him believe that he could do whatever he wanted because he was handsome and charming. 

As a mentor, Lord Henry pushed Dorian towards a downward spiral of pleasure over happiness. Despite seeking pleasure, Dorian ended up with a dissatisfied life filled with fear and latent guilt.

Revelation

“Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had courage to commit”. 

Morality asks one to be vigilant and mindful; it demands constant consideration of right vs wrong.  Lord Henry’s perspective of life intrigued Dorian for it allowed him to let go of moral reasoning. Henry sat next to Dorian, like a devil sits on one’s shoulder, and rambled on with his hedonistic thoughts. 

Dorian chose Lord Henry’s company over Basil for the latter did not support Dorian’s narcissism. He preferred a friend who would not question his life choices. He wanted a mentor who would support him on his self-destructive path of pleasure. 

What did this preference lead to? He murdered two people, became addicted to opium, and watched his soul decay through his portrait. 

After we reach our 20s and move out into the real world, we meet our own Basils and Henrys. We find people who challenge us to become better. Or blindly join us like another frog in the well who cannot escape. While we do need supportive friends, we need to be vigilant about the people we call “friends”.

Similarly, and more importantly, we need to pick our mentors wisely. As mentees, we surrender our faith to someone and trust them to guide us through life. A good mentor, no matter how strict or cold, ensures success for his mentee. And, a bad mentor, no matter how sweet, does a disservice to the trust bestowed on them.  

Self Obsession v. Self Love

Dorian loved himself. He loved his physical beauty, his charisma, and the way he was treated by others at gatherings. He did not care much about what people thought of him. And, why should he? He felt entitled to all endearments because he was beautiful beyond imagination.

His inclination and admiration for aesthetics surpassed all considerations. He loved beautiful things and people. He fell in love with Sibyl Vane, an actress, because she enchantingly played the role of Juliet. Dorian spoke of her highly and offered to marry her. 

Sibyl loved him equally, and even more, in return. One night, she performed horrendously. She told Dorian how she could not profess her love to Romeo because she ardently loved the former. She confessed that she did not wish to continue her acting because she had found her true love. 

Her confession did not impress Dorian. That night, he had brought his friend to watch the play. Humiliated with her performance, he told her how he could not love her anymore. He said, “How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art! Without your art, you are nothing. I would have made you famous, splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you would have borne my name. What are you now? A third-rate actress with a pretty face.”

He left her, saying how she was dead to him because she no longer performed. A few days later, he received a message— Sibyl had taken her life. Instead of feeling guilt or grief, he justified his action by claiming their love story was “Shakespearean”.

Revelation

Dorian did not love himself; he was obsessed with himself. The spotlight always remained on his well-being and pleasure. He did not care about the effects of his actions on others. As long as people served him, he was satisfied. 

Self-love is different from self-obsession. We treat the one closest to us, the way we treat ourselves. If one truly loves themselves, they are kinder and compassionate to themselves. And, out of practice, they exercise the same with others. Self-love empowers; it never destroys. 

On the contrary, self-obsession breaks down one’s relationship with the world. One becomes cynical. It makes one think that they have to fend for themselves alone because no one cares about them. And this belief stems from the fact that they don’t care for anyone but themselves.