Remember that girl from white chicks who is so insecure about her body even though she looks like someone who has 10% of body fat? As I was watching that scene back at home while eating popcorn, I had to look at my own belly. If that is fat for her, then what am I?
Insecurities—ergo a low self-esteem—affect beliefs, values, relationships, and overall mental health. Women always tend to be insecure in some parts of their body. Why? There can be plenty of factors as to why, and here, I have shortlisted some of the reasons:
Ever since the beginning of press and advertisement, whether it is the newspaper, magazine or black and white televisions—women have been posing themselves for the public in a very unlikely manner. All of a sudden, there is somehow this “criteria” on what a standard of beauty is. Young girls grow up idolizing models and modifying themselves in order to be called beautiful. An example would be freckles being used in various beauty filters, when not even long ago, freckles were considered ugly, and not until recently, has everybody begun to love them. We are somehow always infatuated with what is new and popular, trying to be accepted, and even to be praised by the society. Women begin to alter some of their features whether it would be their eyes or nose being too small or too big, the color of their skin, their body shape, their unwanted birthmarks or moles, or even their hair color. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful, but altering changes in one’s body solely for the purpose of acceptance in society is not an ideal way the world should regulate. These marks are what make us distinct from others, they are the true essence of our physical being.
Failure to Launch
Insecurities are not only limited to physical aspects, but it is also psychological and professional. We, as human beings, have a natural need to progress, to grow, and to seek what more we are capable of. However, since the world is not like a fairytale in some books, happy endings are not always a thing. We fail trying to succeed, and with that, we end up disappointing ourselves. Some of us convert this certain disappointment into insecurity. We then focus on what we lack instead of focusing on our admirable characteristics and amplifying them. We should learn that we progress in some areas and some just might not be our dominion. Who said that it is not okay? Failure does not define who we are as a person; our ability to learn from it and improve ourselves does.
Heartaches & Heartbreaks
Of course, love comes into the scenario. If you haven’t gotten yourself heartbroken, then you may have seen this in plenty of movies. A couple of reasons for a break-up are sometimes due to their insecurities messing with their emotions, thus concluding bad decisions. Some of us have past relationships that we are not proud of. It might even have brought out the worst in us and felt insecure in ways possible. This might be one of the reasons as to why women feel bad about themselves—I am not particularly blaming men in general, but the opposite gender do have ways of making women feel insecure by the way they are being treated. Hence, women start asking the question “Am I not worthy?” But here’s the thing: feeling bad after a situation is a common emotion, but what’s wrong is circling those emotions and eventually leading to emotional stress. Unlike, movies with side characters reprimanding the protagonist for his/her strengths, you do not need another individual to tell you what you are worth. You, alone, should know what you deserve. One may simply focus on the facts of why it did not work out and accept it from there.
Red Flag Environment
A child to grow up psychologically healthy and prone from insecurities must be fed with good words, right values, affection, and appreciation. If parents have failed to do that or make their child feel less important, a lot of insecurities might arise as they grow older. They could easily adapt to the negativity thrown by their environment and decline positivity shown to them. Society has managed to set these rules of acceptable features, characteristics, intelligence, etc., thus, putting pressure on the youth with such expectations, but we—mere human beings—are not flawless, we are not God. In our society, mistakes are easily noticed and strengths are rarely complimented, as if the society is allergic to appraisals. For a weak mentality to be fed with harsh words might lead to exaggeration and eventually insecurity. By now, we should learn that humans are part of nature and not everything in nature is perfect. There is beauty in imperfection, just like the famous abstract paintings that are worth millions of dollars.
There are still various things from where insecurities may stem from, and these insecurities should not be fueled, but instead integrated. The importance of embracing who you are and what you have will help you go a long way. The only acceptance that should matter is self-approval. Whether it is the shape or color of your eyes, skintone, moles, stretch marks, failures, mistakes, or criticism—battle scars, if I may, it is what makes you a human. One should not justify themselves based on what society has categorized. There are pleasing and ugly sides. But what is ugly in being real? Insecurities are what make a person genuine. There is nothing wrong with being the rawest version of yourself. The essence of genuineness is something that cannot be bought or altered; it is naturally embedded in each person. Having that power to embrace your flaws and flex them is something the society has been lacking to teach the youth. Insecurities are what make you genuinely unique and nothing is more beautiful than that.