How to Break Free from the Vortex of Negative Self-talk

• Negative Self-talk can be overwhelming if you let it overwhelm you. 
• It is time to find a balance between positive optimism and self-pessimism. 
• Follow some easy steps to maintain a healthy outlook that is positive and realistic. 

Introduction

Self-talk is the speech or beliefs we direct at ourselves. It is like an internal monologue that provides constant, unsolicited commentary on our lives. Hence, it is important to recognize that negative self-talk echoes your thoughts and that thoughts are not facts. They are not fundamentally true, no matter how your brain interprets them. As such, trying out some thought exercises can be a handy way of dealing with critical inner voices. There are different types of negative self-talk, such as catastrophizing, overgeneralization, polarizing, and many more. However, they won’t be defined as we aim to discuss methods of reducing and handling these negative thoughts. 

Where Does Negative Self-Talk Come From?

Part of becoming a fully functioning member of human society is facing rejection and humiliation at least once. Our brain tends to catalog our experiences to prepare us for next time. This is why some people see a montage of their entire lives in near-death experiences. So whenever some event profoundly affects us, we internalize our emotional reaction as a coping mechanism. To borrow a phrase from Inside Out, it becomes part of our core memories and shapes our belief systems. This is where subconsciousness births our intrusive thoughts and our inner critic. For people with dysfunctional families, they hear an echo of their parents or siblings voicing their insecurities. 

Katie Krimer is a psychotherapist and the founder of Growspace, an organization that coaches people on how to combat negative self-talk. She mentions, “Cognitive distortions are negatively biased and irrational thoughts that fuel and reinforce our negative emotions and self-talk. Strengthened over time, this flawed way of thinking serves as a rubric for the harmful, diminishing language we use.” Phrases like “you don’t deserve good things” or “you’re going to fail again” are extreme examples of self-criticism. 

The Correlation between Negative Self-talk and Mental Health

Recognizing that excessive self-criticism is your worst enemy is important. It is a product of your bad decisions and manifestations of your fears. Once you internalize these ideas, it’s easy to perceive these negative thoughts as a tangible phenomenon that can be dealt with. It helps to break down these complex thoughts and fight them with logic. Think about it: has devaluing yourself increased your motivation and confidence? Has your internalized criticism given you the means to make the positive changes you’ve always wanted? 

However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that overcoming negative self-talk is not an answer to all mental health troubles. It aims to isolate you and make you retreat into a comfort zone no matter how toxic it is. According to your brain, it’s a devil, you know. Consequently, seeking expert help from therapists can aid you in reaching the underlying reasons behind these negative thoughts. Not to be a cliché, but healing begins from within and is not linear. 

Tips for Overcoming Negative Self-talk

We’ve established why negative thoughts are just cognitive distortions that erode our personal development. Now, let’s think about how to stop and overcome negative self-talk through the following techniques: 

A Work In Progress

Anyone who’s ever had to navigate personal and professional struggles will admit to having the thought, “I can’t change.” Fortunately, as the fundamental core of being human depends on survival, our brains are equipped with neuroplasticity. It means that by growing up alone, your thought processes expand to accommodate your experiences. This also means that your brain can develop new habits, and you can learn how to minimize self-doubts. So don’t bring yourself down and start switching to a growth mindset. 

Socratic Questioning 

This exercise involves challenging your thought spirals and engaging your cognitive distortions in an inquiring conversation. The first step is to identify and write down your negative thoughts. Secondly, unleash your inner Sherlock and ask yourself: 

• Is this thought true? 
• What if, instead of calling myself crazy for these thoughts, I see it as human? 
• Is there another way to look at this situation? 
• Would I say this to a friend? 

Thought Recording

This exercise is meant to map out how your negative self-talk is triggered and your responses to it. It is an extension of Socratic Questioning. However, you must also record the incidents that kick-start your negative thought process. Keep a small notepad with you. And make three columns: Incidents | Thoughts | Reactions.

Let’s suppose you’re having a hard time finding a job. And you were rejected in your last interview. This will go in the Incidents column. Here, your inner critic probably chimed in with, “I’m never going to achieve anything.” Jot down the emotions you felt during this entire scenario, be it anger, sadness, or hopelessness. To keep from repeating these thought patterns, analyze your emotional triggers and anticipate counterattacks for them. For example, when the above self-doubt echoes in your mind, you can counter with: 

“I cannot tell the future; therefore, I cannot prove this is true.”

OR 

“If I asked my close friends, they would tell me it’s still possible.” 

The Might of Mindfulness 

In the era of doomscrolling and brain rot, mindfulness has multiple benefits for overcoming negative self-talk and improving mental health. 

• Learn to redirect your mind. Just like a thought recording, you can do this any time you find yourself thinking about an unpleasant situation. Do a physical activity like deep breathing, stretching, or just walking around your room. You can also name 5 surrounding objects to bring your brain into immediate awareness. 
• Engage your mind in a thoughtful activity. Learn a new skill, read a new book, take up knitting, develop a new interest, or revive an old one. So that every time you’re having fun, pause and relish those sensations of dopamine! 
• Treat yourself with some kindness and keep away from technology for an hour each day.
• If you don’t go stir-crazy while sitting still, give meditation a try. Start with ten minutes a day. 

Redefine your failures and change your perspective to minimize your negative self-talk. Trust yourself and remember that your thoughts cannot define your identity, but the actions you take in response can.