Intertwining Body Image Concerns With Health: Smita

As a kid, I was incredibly skinny and people constantly highlighted it. Lactose intolerant and susceptible to food poisoning, I consistently battled stomach pains and nausea. After catching a stomach infection, I lived in fear that it would manifest into an ulcer. As a result, I developed anxiety and struggled with confidence. The physical and emotional turmoil of an unhealthy body, especially at a young age, can be deeply jarring.⠀

Things began to get better when I turned 18. It was amazing. For the first time, I had perfect health. I started eating freely and gained weight. But the opinions of others shifted to say that I was “too chubby”. Regretfully, I succumbed to what others thought of me. I confused being healthy with losing weight. I thought that shedding weight would make me good enough. But now the same people were disappointed that I lost my curves.⠀

I was done. I stopped listening to unsolicited opinions and started learning more about working out and eating healthy. I could feel my body growing stronger every day and it did wonders for my rebuilding my confidence. At the age of 24, I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). I have been battling with IBS for the past 4 years. For those who don’t know, this condition has no cure or cause. There is no way I could have prevented it. I closely watch what I eat. Then last year, I developed a kidney infection. I hit rock bottom physically and mentally. I started feeling helpless and anxious, similar to when I was a kid.